Ant and Dec’s proletarian poke in the face

I can’t be the only one to have noticed the vogue for quiz shows designed to reproduce, repackage and reinforce existing class relations for primetime TV. The latest incarnation is Poker Face:

Each show will see six new contestants face five rounds of questions. Throughout the game they will know exactly how many they have right and how much money they are accumulating… However they have no idea how well their fellow contestants are actually faring… At the end of each round one person must leave the game.

The only way to get out with a fatter wallet is to fold and take whatever you’ve won so far. Or gamble, stay in the game, and hope you aren’t in last place (and sent home with nothing). Last man standing after five rounds takes home £50,000.

It’s televisual genius, of course. But the best frauds always are. Millionaire‘s reliance on hardcore general knowledge at least diluted the influence of class and gender: one can just know Eleanor of Aquitaine’s place in the Plantagenet jigsaw, though it sure helps if you’ve sojourned in Fontevraud L’Abbaye. Deal Or No Deal, meanwhile, can be turned on its head by an outrageous run of good or bad luck, and a working knowledge of Expected Value.

There’s no such fortune for proles having a punt at Poker Face. While the blurb-writers gush about “nerve” and “strategy” and “bluff”, the fact that you’re playing blind (and against each other) gives the fatal advantage to anyone who can afford to lose the cash dangled under his nose. Even the thick coating of Geordie cheeky-chappiedom can’t mask the stench of class dominance and gender intimidation. The simple suggestion to “remember the six kids” was enough to make one woman needlessly fold on tuesday. The law of diminishing returns is never on the side of the poor.

Four days in is a little early for statistical analysis, but once the data-set is large enough, you’ll find those at the right end of accent, gender and occupational power relations prospering, while the poor take what they can and get out. In this sense, it’s the perfect evening mirror to a day spent in the service of capital: Poker Face might be the best primetime opportunity for everyone to grab a chunk of pin money, but the big prize will always be reserved for those who deserve and need it least.

First published at The Sharpener.